Closure
by AriesBalorPrincess
Summary: AU Story. Before she gets married, she needs to know if her past love is really over or if she's been pretending the whole time, believing the lie she's told herself for years now. Can she get the closure she's so desperate to get? Or does it back fire on her, making her face that pretending won't work forever?
1. Chapter 1

**Just a little something that came to mind over the weekend. There will be a part two that will be from Wade's POV.**

 **As for the unnamed man in the beginning of this fic, I didn't have the heart to make it any specific guy from the show, you can imagine any guy you want in that place.**

 **Disclaimer:** **I do not own HOD or the characters.**

 **Enjoy!**

* * *

"Why are you doing this?" With a soft sigh, she stopped her packing, thinking over her words. It wasn't the first that time he's asked that question, and she wanted more than need to do this for her own sanity to offer him. Doing this was for her own good, it simply couldn't wait any longer. She put it off long enough. Every other time she'd chicken out at the last minute, not able to go through with it. Pain and sadness is what she recognized when thinking or talking about her childhood home. It was no longer the happiness she had once associated it with.

That had been the very question she's been asking herself for the past two weeks when the idea hit her. She had to know if her first love had gone away, or if she only tricked herself into believing that lie. She couldn't get married if her heart rested elsewhere. At times, she felt lost and that was a feeling that terrified her greatly. She didn't like that it had come to this but not only did she need to do this, but it had to be done.

"I have to know. You might not understand that, but if I don't do this, I'm going to be spending the rest of my life with this big question mark, and I need it to be clear," she told the very man that she was to marry in two months time. "Don't you have someone out there that you need closure with?" It would make this whole thing easier to deal with if he did.

"No, I don't. Closure was there when things ended. I can't see why you're doing this for." It was an ongoing war over something he found silly and pointless; he didn't want to understand her going back to the place she swore she'd never return to because she had nothing there any longer.

"Because things ended on an ugly note, and he was everything to me. Not only was he my first love, but he was my best friend, and I have to do this for me, for us," she pleaded with him, needing him to see why this was important to her. She wasn't doing this to hurt him but rather to stop herself from hurting. "I don't want to be second guessing myself. I'm sorry if this hurts you or complicates things, but I'm going," she stated with finality.

"I'm not okay with this. I can't wait around for you to realize that you still love this guy, and I mean nothing to you," he stated frustrated.

"It's not going to be like that. I'm going to get closure, and I'll be back and we will be married," she assured him, wrapping her arms around his neck. She knew that was supposed to be the plan, but she wasn't certain on how things were going to play out. She didn't know if he even wanted to see her let alone talk to her.

"I'm not okay with this, Zoe, but I can see how important it is for you, so I won't stop you from doing this, just be honest with me when it's over with," he sighed, resting his forehead on hers. "Just hurry back."

"I will," she assured him to both things. "I love you," she whispered against his lips.

* * *

The closer she got to Bluebell the more twisted her stomach became. It wasn't just about seeing her first love, but coming back to the one place that no longer felt like home, freaked her out enough that a panic attack set in, and she had no choice but to pull the rental car to the side of the road, the welcome to Bluebell sign sitting before her mocking her.

Several long deep breaths later, she was calm enough to continue on her way. She drove through the slowly awakening town, one destination in mind.

It was a blessing that the place she had parked the car was empty, not that many people made frequent visits to the cemetery shy of 6 in the morning. With a click of the gate behind her, she walked in the direction that she needed to be in. She placed the blanket on the ground, the grass still wet from the dew. She leaned back against the headstone; her feet stretched out in front of her crossed at her ankles.

"Hey, Daddy. Sorry it has taken me so long to come back here," she apologized, looking up at the morning sky, the sun hitting her face through the trees. "It's hard to be here," she whispered, blinking the tears that had built up away. "I miss you so much. You'd know what to tell me, I could really use that right about now," she confessed, bringing her legs up to her chest, hugging them tightly. "I'm getting married and I think you'd like him," she laughed lightly. "I don't know if I'm making a mistake." She let her words end there, content to listen to the world around her wake up. The birds chirping put her at peace, her eyes shutting on their own accord.

* * *

Wade entered the cemetery with a bouquet of wildflowers to place on his mother's grave. The car parked in front of the cemetery didn't make him second guess who was there; he knew he wasn't the only one with family to visit that was deceased. It wasn't until he removed the old flowers leaving the fresh bunch there that he walked the long way through the cemetery to make one more stop before leaving that he found the other person that was there.

Everyday that he came to his mother's grave, he stopped in to visit with the man who had acted more like a father to him than his dad had at times.

He froze, swallowing thickly seeing his ex-love fast asleep atop of her father's grave. It was hard to miss the tear tracks that were dried on her face. It seemed he didn't need to stop at Harley's grave today.

He crouched down, gently shaking her shoulder. Whatever had transpired between them, he couldn't take it out on leaving her sleeping in the cemetery. "Hey, Zoe," he said, seeing her start to stir.

"Where am I?" She asked through a yawn, stretching her arms over her head. "Wade?" She questioned, taking in her surroundings, everything easily coming back to her.

"I stopped by my moms, and afterwards I make a stop at your dad's, and well you were sleeping," he stated uneasily, standing up, offering a hand to Zoe.

"Thanks," she offered lamely, taking his hand. "Do you have time to talk? It's important," she quickly tacked on seeing that he was thinking better of it.

"Just your luck that I've got the day off," he said with a sad smile. "Can we not have this all too important talk in the middle of the cemetery?" He had a gut feeling on what she wanted to talk about, and he needed a few extra minutes to get his thoughts in order.

Seeing Zoe Wilkes in Bluebell was a sight he wished for every single day, for the better part of six years, but now that she was here, it wasn't in the ways he wished. She wasn't here to see him to work things out; she was here for other reasons, if the pretty little ring on her left hand was any indicator. He just didn't know if he was ready to let her go.

"That would be good, our spot?" She questioned him, nervously chewing on her bottom lip.

"How 'bout you come to mine, and I'll make my famous double chocolate waffles for you," he suggested, smiling seeing the spark in her brown eyes.

"You know me so well," she laughed. Wade nodded, letting the awkwardness fall upon them. Wade motioned for her to follow him. She quickly agreed ready to be by herself for a few moments to gather her thoughts.

She came down here to speak to Wade but now that the moment was before her, she was having trouble figuring out what she was going to say to him.

She ignored the dirty clothes, the empty beer bottles and the crumpled paper tossed around the place. He shrugged, tossing things from the kitchen counter into a corner.

"Sorry 'bout the mess," he told her unbashful. It didn't matter what the state of his house was in, she wasn't there to judge him and his cleanliness.

"You're really not sorry," she laughed sitting on the stool. He chuckled getting the ingredients he needed out. "How are you, Wade?" She asked quietly, picking at an old crusty stain on his countertop. She heard him suck in a deep breath.

"I've been good, Zoe," he replied, his back to her.

"That's good," she responded lamely. "I've been good too."

"Better than good by the looks of that rock sitting on your finger," he bit out.

Zoe gulped looking at her hands, her thumb gliding over her ring. "Yeah," she breathed out.

"I don't know what it is you want from me, Zoe," he gritted out, setting the frying pan on the stove with a bit more force than necessary.

"I don't want anything from you Wade," she sighed, frustrated.

"It's something or you wouldn't be here, Zoe," he rebuttaled.

"What is it you want to hear Wade? Huh? That I still love you? That I might be making the biggest mistake of my life by getting married to a guy, who isn't you?" She yelled, getting to her feet. "But that doesn't matter because you didn't fight for me, and I guess I want to know why you let me go? We had plans of living happily ever after, and here we are, Wade," she told him defeated, her tears ready to run over. "Was I not worth fighting for?"

"Of course, course you were worth fighting for, Zoe," he yelled turning around to face her. "I just didn't know how to do that. After your dad died, you were so adamant about leaving this town and never coming back that I couldn't make you come back, and I needed a game plan for New York, it just so happens that I'm too late," his voice growing softer. "I never stopped loving you, Zo. However, I have to wonder even if you weren't getting married if we would work out."

"I'm not staying either, Wade. Bluebell no longer feels like home to me; it was hard enough coming now, but I had to do this; I had to see you," she confessed, licking her lips. "I don't know if we would work but I don't think this is the end for us; it can't be," she denied, shaking her head.

"What about your future husband, Zo? You have to love him if you're marrying him. How is marrying him this big mistake?"

"Because he's not you, I love him, but it's not the love we share, Wade. But it has the potential. My wedding is in two months, if I don't hear from you, I know that we won't work out because we waited too long to repair the damage that was made. I will always love you, Wade. And I'm sorry for taking off on you years ago."

"You're forgiven, Zoe. And I'm sorry about the things I said. You were going through enough at that time and instead of helping you through it, I made it worse and that is one of the biggest regrets I hold. I can't stop loving you no matter how much I've tried."

"You were forgiven the night everything blew up on us. I didn't hold you responsible for what you said, things were said in the heat of the moment, things that were true and others that were nothing more than a lie," she said. "I hope with whatever the future holds for us; we can go back to being friends; I have missed you." For the first time since entering the little town she used to call home, a smile broke out on her face, a real genuine smile.

"Time and distance will never change us being friends, Doc," he smiled back. "If you must know, I missed you as well."

She moved to hug him, placing a tiny kiss upon his cheek, seeing herself out. Once in the safety of her rental car, she took a deep breath. That wasn't what she had come here to do. She came for closure and in a way she got it. She could fully move on if that's what it came down to. Everything she said was the truth and that scared her.

* * *

After getting home everything went back to normal, no questions about going back home, though she did share how hard, it was to go back and visit her dad's resting place for the first time since his passing six years ago. See told him nothing happened, and that it was good to clear the air.

Six weeks had passed her by, and she had yet to hear a single word from Wade. She had two full weeks before her wedding. 14 days left for him to show up. Part of her wanted him to do just that but the part of her didn't want him to. She was thrilled with the possibility of it happening, and she was scared. She was happy with her life. She was more than fine with Wade being nothing more than her friend.

"There's a new place opening up tonight, want to stop after work and get a drink?" Gigi asked, stopping by on Zoe's lunch break.

"Yes," she answered quickly. She needed a moment to relax; she had been going nonstop for the past month and a half with work and wedding plans that she didn't have the time for her, and she was going to make time for herself and a glass of wine even if it did only last for a few minutes.

With plans to meet up after Zoe's shift, Gigi took off and Zoe got back to work, making her rounds to check on her patients, before being called into a surgery.

She was more than happy to see the end of her shift. The surgery was more grueling than anticipated. The guy had flat lined two different times; however, in the end, they were able to save him, and he was resting comfortably with the help of drugs in his hospital room.

She didn't have a dress to go into a place too fancy for drinks, just the skirt and top she had worn to work that day, and she didn't want to go home to change, so what she had on would have do. She should have asked questions. It was pointless to ask now as they were walking down the sidewalk, a line a mile long from what she could tell was the new place they were headed.

"Something wrong?" Gigi asked, noticing her friend freeze up beside her.

Zoe heard nothing, the world around her fading away into nothingness, her eyes locked on the fluorescent sign above the door. _**Wade's Place**_.


	2. Chapter 2

**Here's the second part. Most of it is from Wade's POV but it does switch off to Zoe's near the end. Again I'm sorry for any mistakes you might find. Enjoy!**

* * *

"As your brother, I will support you in this if it's what you want, and you're not doing this for _her_ ," Jesse stressed over the phone.

"I want to do this; it's been my dream for so long," Wade responded, glancing at the papers on his coffee table. "It's for me Jesse, but at the same time it is for her, because she's the only one that believed in me, and I want to prove to her that I didn't give up, just that it's not that easy for everyone, the way it was for her," he finished.

"Then you do this, Wade. However, do it for you and no one else, alright?"

"Yeah, that is something I can do," he responded with a smile.

Growing up they couldn't have been any closer as brothers. When they lost their mom, they had grown apart, handling the situation differently. Wade needed his brother and Jesse closed himself off, making plans for his escape, pushing Wade into acting out; most people turned a blind eye to Wade's actions. There had only ever been one person to rein him in and when she left he had gone back to his old ways, until Jesse returned. They had fought, and after they fixed their bruised egos, they talked things out in a calm fashion. That had been the first step in rebuilding their relationship as brothers.

"If you need help, you know where to find me," Jesse said.

"I'd rather call someone who will help me out and not sit on their ass and tell me what I'm doing wrong," Wade joked.

"You think you're so damn funny," Jesse deadpanned, rolling his eyes. "What does dad say about this?"

"He's not a huge fan, but he can't judge," Wade sighed, leaning back on his couch. "I can't take care of him any longer, Jesse. He's supposed to be the parent here, and it's time I live my life and not worry he's going to hurt himself," he grumbled.

"Hey, I get it. I didn't just leave because I couldn't handle mom not being there, but because I can't handle a drunk for a father. You have to do you, Wade. You could be waiting years for him to get his act together and that's not right for you," Jesse assured him. He did support his brother in doing this. He didn't fully support a certain reason behind it, but that wasn't for him to fuss over. He was proud of the man Wade had become. "Dad, will be fine."

"It's not Dad whom I'm worried about, Jesse," Wade sighed. "I'm scared," Wade confessed. Jesse remained quiet, waiting for his brother to say more. "This is the biggest thing I've ever done. I'm moving to a different state which can be a whole new freaking world, and I'm opening my own bar; this is huge, Jesse!"

"Yeah it is and once you have it up and running I'll be there to celebrate with you," said Jesse.

"But what if I fail?" He sighed.

"Then you fail and you move on, Wade."

* * *

' _Because he's not you, I love him, but it's not the love we share, Wade.'_ Those words spun around in his head after his visit with Zoe. Words he's wanted to hear come from her mouth for too many years now. Even though she has spoken them, it wasn't the same, not when she was with someone else planning the future they had imagined. ' _But it has the potential.'_ Five words he didn't want to think about if ever, not when he still loved her, like he had when she left. He had tried to get over her; it never worked out in his favor. He was going to be stuck on his first love for years to come, if he didn't find a way to either make things work or get the closure he should have gotten once she walked out of his life.

Her wedding is in two months, and that was all the time he had to make his move on proving things to her. He was nervous about not meeting that deadline. It was all or nothing at this point. Seeing Zoe again put everything into perspective for him. It gave him that final kick to make things right. This was his game plan to win her love. Not that he had to win her love, just show her why she had fallen in love with him to begin with when they were teens. That he had no plans of giving up on their love story.

Maybe he was crazy for doing this. There was a good chance that he could do everything he set out to do, and he wouldn't be the one with Zoe's love. Sitting back doing nothing wasn't an option either. Being conflicted about this needed to end, putting it off couldn't happen again. He had plenty of reasons on why it's taken him this long, but those reasons ran out months ago, no longer valid.

He has the place, a name, the contacts and every little thing else. He did have to get the place set up, hire employees and get the place ready to open before his time ran out. However, he was well on his way of accomplishing what he set out to do. His dream of owning his own bar was set to become a reality.

Giving up never crossed his mind. He needed to do this. It was the plan from the start, and he was finally seeing it through. It had taken him longer than he had liked, he couldn't change that. He would, however, make it worth it. He had to prove that his love was still there and real. That he could win her heart back even if he had a massive hurdle to get over.

There were days that he wondered if he fudged everything up by waiting. He had to try now that they had started to repair things between them. She made the first move, now it was time for him to make the last move in this standoff they were in.

He would be okay if they remained friends, but he wanted more, and he didn't feel guilty about ruining her wedding, not when the heart she had to give away was his.

"Now or never," he stated, heading out to start the next part of his life.

* * *

He was amazed with how fast everything came together once he was in New York. The place had a bit of country flavor with the right amount of the city mixed in. There was a stage for bands to perform on any given night. He welcomed all bands, all musical acts.

"Opening night," Jesse said, walking up to him, slapping him lightly on the back. "The place looks great. You ready for this?"

"If I'm not I need to be," Wade laughed, stopping to take a deep breath. "This is what I've been waiting for. Spending sleepless nights to be here. Ask me after I've closed the place for the night," he tried to joke, his tone taking a more serious tone then he would have liked.

"You'll have a full house; you've been putting yourself out there every way possible, radio, the Internet. You even put flyers up all over the city. If she doesn't show, she's the fool, Wade," Jesse assured him. What he wouldn't do to knock some sense into his brother.

"I'm not worried about her showing up," he half lied. He wanted her to come, to see what he had done, that even if he was late he had still fought for her, that he had risked his life for her, gave everything up to be here in the city she calls home for her. He could have easily opened his bar in Bluebell, but he didn't. He was okay if he looked like a fool if he walked away without getting her back, but he wasn't okay to look like a coward by not doing anything. He took a risk. Whether it paid off was the million-dollar question.

"I know you, Wade," Jesse chuckled. "But she's the one missing out. She can marry him and make the biggest mistake of her life, or she'll come to her senses before then, either way you'll be okay. I'm proud of you and we both know that's all that matters," he laughed, walking off to do something.

Wade shook his head, walking behind the counter, making sure they were fully stocked, before the doors opened. Getting antsy about opening night.

He had been so busy behind the bar that he didn't see who was coming or who was going. The nerves that had settled in his stomach the second he woke that morning had left when he saw the line waiting to get in, he was astonished that so many people had shown up. Shocked and impressed at having a full house.

As the night wore on, faces had started to blur together, he lost count on how many women flirted with him, leaving their numbers for him, which had ended up in the trash, there was only one woman he wanted, and he had been so busy that he didn't know if she had shown up or not.

He had never been so happy for closing then he was now. He was tired and he really just wanted to go home and sleep, cleaning up could wait until morning.

"Why didn't you tell me?" He froze hearing her voice and the hurt that was portrayed.

"You came?" He questioned instead, turning around to face her. Zoe nodded, moving from the table she had been sitting at.

"Didn't know it was your place until I showed up with my friend. You didn't plan that did you?" She asked with a faint laugh.

"No, I didn't plan that," he chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck. "I didn't tell you because I was scared," he told her with a shrug.

"This place reminds me of home," she commented looking down. "I'm proud of you, Wade. I always believed in you," she smiled at him.

"Where does that leave us?" He asked, tired of sneaking around the real issue. "I'm here for you, Zoe. This is me fighting for you, for us," he pleaded, taking her hands in his.

"I don't know," she whispered, looking down. She wanted to melt into Wade, to forget everything, but that wasn't possible. She couldn't just end her engagement; it wasn't that easy for her. She'd stay with Wade, but she didn't know how big of a possibility that was. "I'm sorry," she told him quickly, ripping her hands from his rushing to the exit, before he could see her tears. She felt horrible for what she told him when they meet up in Bluebell. She was stuck, and she could only blame herself.

"Zoe, wait," he called after her. He sighed, making his way out the door, but like everything else in his life when it comes to Zoe, he was too late.

Walking inside, he started to clean up, he was no longer tired.

* * *

She had been so out of it after seeing Wade, that her fiancé knew something was off and forced her to tell him what was going on.  
 _  
_" _Zoe, I've known for a long time that you didn't love me as deeply as I love you, but I had thought with time that you would get there, but I'm wrong," he told her, sitting on the couch next to her._

" _I do love you," Zoe pleaded, wiping a stray tear away._

" _But it's not enough. I want to marry you, Zoe. I want to see you walking down the aisle, towards our future together, but above all else I want you to be happy."_

" _Even if that's with someone else?" She asked in a whisper._

" _Doesn't matter who it's with."_

" _I'm sorry," she told him, feeling horrible once again._

" _Nothing to be sorry about. I'll either see you at the other end of that aisle tomorrow, or I won't and I won't be mad, because you have to decide where your love stands, and that I can't be mad about," he told her, kissing her forehead, leaving her alone once more._

Breaking off her marriage wasn't easy because she does care for him, loved him deeply. Leaving Wade behind that didn't seem like an option because he was her heart, her home. She hated the place she had put herself in. She knew what needed to be done, didn't mean it wasn't any easier.

With an hour until she was to walk down the aisle, she made a phone call.

"I'm sorry, but I can't do this; I love you greatly, but it's wrong. You deserve to find a woman that loves you wholeheartedly, and that isn't me. You deserve so much more. I really am truly sorry for doing this to you. I hope with time you'll be able to forgive me for what I've put you through, it was never intentional. Take care."

* * *

Wade woke the morning of Zoe's wedding, mad that she had gotten his hopes ups, sad because she chose her fiancé. Frustrated with himself for believing that she still loved him. Jealous that another man got his great love. Angry with himself and with her for putting himself in such a place. It was his anger that stayed out, snapping at everything and everyone.

"Dude you need to chill and relax," Jesse commented with a sigh, fed up with his brother's sour mood.

"You need to get out of my face," Wade seethed, walking to the back to get another box of beer.

"You're right; I'm out," Jesse called. Wade waited until he heard the door shut, before emerging from the back room.

"Shouldn't you be on your honeymoon by now? If you're here to rub it in my face that you're married, and that I wasted my time by doing this, you can just leave," Wade stated, not even giving Zoe a second glance.

"And what if I'm not here to do that?" She asked, making Wade freeze, his mind going blank on him. "Hard to have a honeymoon when I choose you."

"What?" Wade asked shakily, turning around. "This isn't a joke, because I can't handle this if it is."

"No joke," she replied, walking to the bar. "The past it doesn't matter. You're here and I really hope that you want this too, because I gave up a great guy for you," she told him.

"And what I'm not great?" He questioned, raising an eyebrow.

"You Wade Kinsella are my heart and soul; you are home," she whispered, pulling him across the counter by his shirt, roughly crashing her lips against his.

"Pinch me," he muttered, breaking the kiss. Zoe did just that. "Ouch," Wade fake pouted rubbing his shoulder where Zoe pinched him.

"You asked for it," she giggled. "I know we have a lot to talk about, but this with you, is what I want. I love you," she told him turning serious.

"We do but we'll be okay, because great love like ours isn't meant to be easy. I love you and not to steal your words but you Doc, are my heart, my soul, my everything. Home never felt as good as it does when I'm with you," he softly told her.


End file.
